IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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