i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
