If i come over, it means nothing
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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