sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
