Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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