Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
