totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
