So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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