What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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