hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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