I'm gonna have a badass scar
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
