bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
