you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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