It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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