What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
be right there i have to get my cape
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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