Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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