so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
