I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
