Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.

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(519): View more from Ontario

this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece

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(859): View more from Kentucky

IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL

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(772): View more from Florida

Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake

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(208): View more from Idaho

Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.

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(425): View more from Washington

she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours

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