I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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