Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
