You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
