I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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