All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Can vaginas get frostbite?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
