Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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