It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
