Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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