i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's just like the Real World with babies
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
