i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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