he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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