I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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