Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
