Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
There's even glitter on my cock...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
