Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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