How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
