Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
