The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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