At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
