I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
