He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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