Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
