Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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