Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
