I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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