Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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