THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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