He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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