his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
