Someone shit on the floor
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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