So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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