Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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