Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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