...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
