Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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