But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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