So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
