it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
True college students do jello shots in the library
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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