Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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