you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
