dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
