Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
