I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
