god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
