Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Randomize
