im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize