If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
