Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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