Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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