So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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