your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
