just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we made out on top of his cat.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize